I had sweated stressed; calculated and checked, googled and map-quested until my eyes were dry as raisins… all in hopes of the perfect family get-away. It would be my kids first time out of the US … even if it was only Canada.
But in one simple statement … in one instant that seemed frozen in time …. it all came crashing down … “You can’t use that type of passport to fly internationally”, she said… the check in clerk at the airline station informed us very very matter-of-factly that we wouldn’t be able to check in, board the plane, nor change our flight itinerary without major expense.
In shock and with tears, frantic and inconsolable … I sat … wedded to the idea that our vacation was done before it ever started.
But then the most amazing thing happened … my children came to the rescue. First They gently empathized and consoled and then they reminded me that I was using “all or nothing thinking” (Omg … they do listen to their mother apparently sometimes!) Of course I was also using emotional reasoning, magnification and blaming myself about the passport.
But my kids of course were right … it was time to re-group. Time to create and implement plan “B”.
Soooo….we booked a rental from the airport and were off to Toronto via car…all the rest we would figure out as we went. And that we did!
The moral of the story is this … when life changes unexpectedly, and it will … when you have no control over a situation or person ….and you won’t … there is ALWAYS plan B.
And when you are fluent in CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) as my kids and I are, you can identify those times you are magnifying a situation, using all or nothing thinking or blaming yourself or someone else. These distorted ways of thinking make every life change much more difficult to navigate. But knowing CBT reduces anxiety, diffuses hot/angry thoughts and mitigates negative thoughts that lead to depression.
I wish CBT was taught as a core subject to everyone from Kindergarten on up to college level and to every employee in every work place. But until it is … feel free to give us a call at Full Circle Counseling … we speak fluent CBT and are happy to teach you!
Til then … here’s hoping we all have happy and safe summer vacations!I had sweated stressed; calculated and checked, googled and map-quested until my eyes were dry as raisins… all in hopes of the perfect family get-away. It would be my kids first time out of the US … even if it was only Canada.
But in one simple statement … in one instant that seemed frozen in time …. it all came crashing down … “You can’t use that type of passport to fly internationally”, she said… the check in clerk at the airline station informed us very very matter-of-factly that we wouldn’t be able to check in, board the plane, nor change our flight itinerary without major expense.
In shock and with tears, frantic and inconsolable … I sat … wedded to the idea that our vacation was done before it ever started.
But then the most amazing thing happened … my children came to the rescue. First They gently empathized and consoled and then they reminded me that I was using “all or nothing thinking” (Omg … they do listen to their mother apparently sometimes!) Of course I was also using emotional reasoning, magnification and blaming myself about the passport.
But my kids of course were right … it was time to re-group. Time to create and implement plan “B”.
Soooo….we booked a rental from the airport and were off to Toronto via car…all the rest we would figure out as we went. And that we did!
The moral of the story is this … when life changes unexpectedly, and it will … when you have no control over a situation or person ….and you won’t … there is ALWAYS plan B.
And when you are fluent in CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) as my kids and I are, you can identify those times you are magnifying a situation, using all or nothing thinking or blaming yourself or someone else. These distorted ways of thinking make every life change much more difficult to navigate. But knowing CBT reduces anxiety, diffuses hot/angry thoughts and mitigates negative thoughts that lead to depression.
I wish CBT was taught as a core subject to everyone from Kindergarten on up to college level and to every employee in every work place. But until it is … feel free to give us a call at Full Circle Counseling … we speak fluent CBT and are happy to teach you!
Til then … here’s hoping we all have happy and safe summer vacations!
